Marriage- 5 years, 10 months and reflecting

Bismillah

They say “Nyala o …”, “Dikuku di mo nate, le nyalo le boima” and they say “When are you going to get married, so you can stop being happy”, “Marriage comes with three rings: engagement ring, wedding ring and the suffering” and they have more to say “…”.

But Allah , The All Mighty, The All Merciful, The All Knowing, The All Wise says  “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

(Holy Quran: Rum: v21)

Marriage is one of Allah’s greatest signs on earth that transcends all the way to the heavens. Marriage was the first relationship established on earth between two humans, Adam and Hawwa (Eve), it is the first university for humans, where they learn how to interact with each other spiritually and emotionally. Marriage is the best school to teach humility, honesty, truthfulness, faith and other human values. A healthy marriage will produce children and adults that will contribute positively towards the society, as children learn most of their behavior from parents. A successful marriage will produce a strong and a well-developed society, therefore it is a fundamental block in building a prosperous and peaceful community.

As the verse mentions, marriage is a place to dwell in tranquility. Tranquility is the highest form of peace that everyone would love to experience over and over again, however many couples find this to be an unlikely idea. The verse continues by mentioning Love and Mercy and these are the two units that will lead the marriage to Tranquility.

The Arabic word used in the verse is “Mawwadah” which is translated as love, but Mawwadah is actually a special and divine form of love, it is beyond simple adoration and friendship.  It is the love that Allah instils in a marriage in order to handle conflicts that arise in a marriage. This love enables the couple to compromise, reach agreements and look for solutions and Mercy leaves room for apologies, forgiveness and acceptance of dissimilar views and opinions. Does this then mean that we have to sit and do nothing? Of course not, anything good worth having is a result of hard work. Hard work makes you stronger, wiser and happier.

Marriage is fully of challenges that are worth overcoming as long as we continue to work at it. There more we overcome those challenges, there more we will see Tranquility, Love and Mercy in our marriages.

May Allah keep us God-fearing spouses and bless our marriages. Ameen.