Leto-Part 3

When I heard a hoot outside I knew that it was him, I slightly opened the blinds to make sure, and it was him. He was here! To pick ME up! I suddenly had a rush of excitement and I quickly gave him two points in my mental scoreboard. I grabbed my purse and a thought went through my mind “What if this date ends badly?” I quickly called a friend to let her know she should be on standby, just in case I needed a lift back home. The hooter went off again, I enjoyed keeping Leto waiting, I was a woman I a beautiful dress, trying to impress and intimidate all at the same time. I laughed at my madness, how I expected Leto to be straight with me when I was just as guilty as him of sending mixed messages. I locked my room and walked down the stairs. I stepped into his car and I was immediately welcomed by a fresh, smooth and sensual scent. It was either Paco Rabanne or the new Ferrari cologne. Leto’s cologne was absorbing, and I could not resist getting caught up in that moment. He smiled slightly and then greeted me as if he knew the feelings that were going through me. I wanted to apologize for keeping him waiting, but I decided not to. His eyes were glued on me for a while, and then he asked if I was ready to go, and I slowly responded positively. I tried to pinch myself out of the excitement and euphoria. “You look beautiful,” he said. “Thank you.” I tried to complement him on something, “you smell good,” I could not believe my mouth, it was not supposed to betray me like that. “thank you, my lady.” He smiled again and turned away to slide a CD into the CD player. Enrique Iglesius, one of my favorite artists. What was Leto trying to do?  Suddenly only good memories flooded my mind in full colour. I just lost the poker face I tried to pull in the music. We hardly spoke a word until the end of the CD, I quickly pressed the repeat button before any words could be exchanged. I felt disarmed and pathetic. We finally arrived at a beautiful Italian restaurant called Amor, just a glance from the outside displayed a lovely ambiance.

To be continued…

Leto Part 2

The clock cannot tick faster nor the sun set earlier. I am just sitting here in the study area, this is the depressing dark part of the library. I cannot believe this is still part of the library, it is corrupt with the smell of cigarette smoke, cheap cologne, mint sweets and sweat. I have actually never seen the Library Guard do his rounds this side. It is best I find my way home and prepare for the night ahead. The campus bus is right on time, and the friendly driver is back on duty. I hope he has completely healed from his kidney infection. I rushed to the bus stop, stepped onto the bus, swiped my tag and greeted the bus driver with a pleasant smile and asked him how he was doing, he was not completely healthy, but his leave days were exhausted and had to get back to work. I felt sorry for him but proud that he is doing his best for the well-being of his family, such men are becoming scarce these days.

The bus ride can be thirty to forty minutes long, depending on traffic. When I sat down I felt exhausted and drained. All day long I have been thinking about Leto, he has become an absolute obsession, so I took this time to rest my mind and take a nap. I have to end this madness tonight before I have a meltdown, my head already feels heavy. The bus ride felt too short compared to other days and as soon as it stopped I was out the door. I took a brisk walk to the student residence, I thought I should burn some calories ahead of tonight’s dinner.

I rushed to the shower room as soon as I got to my room, I had already picked out a lovely blue cocktail dress the previous day, but I did not want to be too dressed up, so I toned it down with black pumps. I continued to visualize the impending date as I got ready. My questions were ready. I will ask him about our relationship, if there is any. I will ask him about our phone calls and text messages. He once said we are bonding, what bond is it?

Oh No! What was I doing? What have I been thinking?  Look at the time! There is no no turning back, Leto will be here soon.

To be continued…

Leto Part1

I knew that this would be one of the most stupid decisions that I have
taken in my life but I had to do this for myself.I had to invite Leto for a night out. If it is a
mistake, it would be my mistake, regardless of what all that my friends
tell me.  I was tired of all the awkward moments when Leto and I met
in corridors, tired of the uncertain text messages that he and I
exchanged.  I always try to give people a chance, “benefit of the
doubt” as they say, but with Leto things were different, giving him a
chance made the chills run down my back, because nothing proves that he
might be genuine in all that he does, not even his apologies and friendly
greetings, everything that has happened between us spells “STAY AWAY”
but I cannot.
I spent most of today in the library, not reading or studying but
contemplating about tonight.  Thinking how things will turn out,
will I be able to get a final and straight answer from Leto? Would he
avoid looking at me in the eye? Would he lie and turn everything that
has happened into paranoia thoughts from my head and make me feel
dim-witted and immature about so many things that I am not to blame
for.
Tonight I am going to take my power back, God! I pray that I will be
able to sift out every lie until the truth stands out naked. I have to set the
record straight, holding nothing back! Every cliché you can think of,
I am going to be it. However, at the back of my mind memories flash by
and I remember how weak I can be around Leto, how he can make my
blood rush to my brain so fast that I cannot tell a difference between
a lie and the truth.Oh my…I am smiling and feeling all fuzzy again. STOP! I have to compose myself and think of a tactful way of handling Leto, or else I will be stuck in this foolishness and end up ruined.  

To be continued…

Undressing a Man

A man takes clothes off a woman but a woman can really undress a man

As she undressed him,
She unfastened his ruttedly tied layer of ego and found his kindness.
Under that mushy kind layer lay his arrogance.
With just her fingertips she meticulously removed it and found his modesty.
Beneath his modesty sits dark uncompromising layers 

of harshness, stubbornness and callousness, 

cruelty, malice and sourness,

hatred, revenge, prejudice and more.

Roughly and softly,

Swiftly and slowly,
Layer upon layer,
Texture upon texture,
She undressed that man.

Under the last layer she found nothing but his vulnerability
which she intensely made love to.

Solace

He is peacefully sleeping
Perhaps even snoring
Oblivious to the tears trickling down to your pillow.

He did not even give you a goodnight kiss,
Angry over a silly incident.
Your apology meant nothing 

because all he wants is to crush your spirit.

With the rain as his lullaby,
he turns from right to left with sweet dreams.
But your tears are in sync with the rain,
The more it pours the more you cry.
You try to hush your sobs,
But his words thunder in your thoughts.
In the silence of your bedroom,
The pain is a loud thud in your heart.

He just said he loves you this morning,
So why fuss over weightless words.

You wipe your tears,
Take a deep breathe...
Get closer to him,
And just like a child you seek solace from the one who makes you cry.

#SimplySakinaPoetry

The Other Room

You think you are the one
Because she said yes
And you put a ring on her finger.
She created another room in her heart
just to accommodate you
And with time your room grew bigger
But it never destroyed the other room
And now and again
The other room gets lit
Its light may be dim
But sometimes it is her haven
It may be small
but sometimes it is all the space she needs
It may be empty
But sometimes it puts a smile on her face 

She will never tell you about this room
But Your insecurities
Refer her to this little room
Your jealousy expands it
Your betrayals light it up
Your lies furnish it

Be careful...
Your room is shrinking
Its bright lights are dimming
And everything in it,  is burning 

down to ashes...

Who are the flag-bearers of morality?

A few weeks ago a man from Limpopo introduced the Virginity Awards. These awards are dedicated to young girls or women who keep their virginity till marriage. A radio journalist was asking why is it that when it comes to morality, women and girls are mostly advices to keep their virginity. What about men and boys? Is it not a sexist idea that one sex should be preached to more than the other?

I say, to uphold morality is the duty of every male and female, however the greater advice is given to women and young girls as they are more vulnerable. In an immoral society women greatly suffer the consequences much more than their male counterparts. Women and girls easily fall prey to emotional and physical abuse and they are left to deal with unwanted pregnancies, dropping out of school due to the strains of pregnancy, and are left with the responsibility of taking care of babies. We have “16 Days of activism against women and children abuse”, not because men are not being abused but because women and children are more exposed to violence and mistreatment.

If men and boys know that sex is not easily available to them but earned through a moral commitment, it will encourage them to step up to be better, reliable and responsible men. Men and boys too need that emphasized teaching on discipline and accountability.

We have sayings such as “to teach a woman is to teach a nation” because of the realisation of the revered and important state of women, and the role that they can play in order to raise or sink the society.  There has to be someone that sets precedence, women are more than capable of doing that for their communities if they so wish. Women being the first to come into contact with human life, the first teachers through motherhood, are in a better position to teach their sons to be reputable and liable from an early age. The often used negligent words, “a boy is a boy” or "a man is a man" to express that men or boys should be left to their bad behaviour are not working positively towards building a constructive, responsible and moral society, and sadly these words are mostly uttered by women.

To uphold morality is the duty of every male and female, nevertheless it is more of an honour than a burden to give the flag of morality to women. In conclusion Imam Ali bin Abu Talib (as) says “woman is a delicate creature with strong emotions, who has been created by the Almighty God to shoulder responsibility for educating society and moving toward perfection. God created woman as a symbol of His own beauty and to give solace to her partner and her family.”

May God guide and help us towards establishing a moral society.

Peace