Undressing a Man

A man takes clothes off a woman but a woman can really undress a man

As she undressed him,
She unfastened his ruttedly tied layer of ego and found his kindness.
Under that mushy kind layer lay his arrogance.
With just her fingertips she meticulously removed it and found his modesty.
Beneath his modesty sits dark uncompromising layers 

of harshness, stubbornness and callousness, 

cruelty, malice and sourness,

hatred, revenge, prejudice and more.

Roughly and softly,

Swiftly and slowly,
Layer upon layer,
Texture upon texture,
She undressed that man.

Under the last layer she found nothing but his vulnerability
which she intensely made love to.

Solace

He is peacefully sleeping
Perhaps even snoring
Oblivious to the tears trickling down to your pillow.

He did not even give you a goodnight kiss,
Angry over a silly incident.
Your apology meant nothing 

because all he wants is to crush your spirit.

With the rain as his lullaby,
he turns from right to left with sweet dreams.
But your tears are in sync with the rain,
The more it pours the more you cry.
You try to hush your sobs,
But his words thunder in your thoughts.
In the silence of your bedroom,
The pain is a loud thud in your heart.

He just said he loves you this morning,
So why fuss over weightless words.

You wipe your tears,
Take a deep breathe...
Get closer to him,
And just like a child you seek solace from the one who makes you cry.

#SimplySakinaPoetry

The Other Room

You think you are the one
Because she said yes
And you put a ring on her finger.
She created another room in her heart
just to accommodate you
And with time your room grew bigger
But it never destroyed the other room
And now and again
The other room gets lit
Its light may be dim
But sometimes it is her haven
It may be small
but sometimes it is all the space she needs
It may be empty
But sometimes it puts a smile on her face 

She will never tell you about this room
But Your insecurities
Refer her to this little room
Your jealousy expands it
Your betrayals light it up
Your lies furnish it

Be careful...
Your room is shrinking
Its bright lights are dimming
And everything in it,  is burning 

down to ashes...

Who are the flag-bearers of morality?

A few weeks ago a man from Limpopo introduced the Virginity Awards. These awards are dedicated to young girls or women who keep their virginity till marriage. A radio journalist was asking why is it that when it comes to morality, women and girls are mostly advices to keep their virginity. What about men and boys? Is it not a sexist idea that one sex should be preached to more than the other?

I say, to uphold morality is the duty of every male and female, however the greater advice is given to women and young girls as they are more vulnerable. In an immoral society women greatly suffer the consequences much more than their male counterparts. Women and girls easily fall prey to emotional and physical abuse and they are left to deal with unwanted pregnancies, dropping out of school due to the strains of pregnancy, and are left with the responsibility of taking care of babies. We have “16 Days of activism against women and children abuse”, not because men are not being abused but because women and children are more exposed to violence and mistreatment.

If men and boys know that sex is not easily available to them but earned through a moral commitment, it will encourage them to step up to be better, reliable and responsible men. Men and boys too need that emphasized teaching on discipline and accountability.

We have sayings such as “to teach a woman is to teach a nation” because of the realisation of the revered and important state of women, and the role that they can play in order to raise or sink the society.  There has to be someone that sets precedence, women are more than capable of doing that for their communities if they so wish. Women being the first to come into contact with human life, the first teachers through motherhood, are in a better position to teach their sons to be reputable and liable from an early age. The often used negligent words, “a boy is a boy” or "a man is a man" to express that men or boys should be left to their bad behaviour are not working positively towards building a constructive, responsible and moral society, and sadly these words are mostly uttered by women.

To uphold morality is the duty of every male and female, nevertheless it is more of an honour than a burden to give the flag of morality to women. In conclusion Imam Ali bin Abu Talib (as) says “woman is a delicate creature with strong emotions, who has been created by the Almighty God to shoulder responsibility for educating society and moving toward perfection. God created woman as a symbol of His own beauty and to give solace to her partner and her family.”

May God guide and help us towards establishing a moral society.

Peace

Marriage- 5 years, 10 months and reflecting

Bismillah

They say “Nyala o …”, “Dikuku di mo nate, le nyalo le boima” and they say “When are you going to get married, so you can stop being happy”, “Marriage comes with three rings: engagement ring, wedding ring and the suffering” and they have more to say “…”.

But Allah , The All Mighty, The All Merciful, The All Knowing, The All Wise says  “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

(Holy Quran: Rum: v21)

Marriage is one of Allah’s greatest signs on earth that transcends all the way to the heavens. Marriage was the first relationship established on earth between two humans, Adam and Hawwa (Eve), it is the first university for humans, where they learn how to interact with each other spiritually and emotionally. Marriage is the best school to teach humility, honesty, truthfulness, faith and other human values. A healthy marriage will produce children and adults that will contribute positively towards the society, as children learn most of their behavior from parents. A successful marriage will produce a strong and a well-developed society, therefore it is a fundamental block in building a prosperous and peaceful community.

As the verse mentions, marriage is a place to dwell in tranquility. Tranquility is the highest form of peace that everyone would love to experience over and over again, however many couples find this to be an unlikely idea. The verse continues by mentioning Love and Mercy and these are the two units that will lead the marriage to Tranquility.

The Arabic word used in the verse is “Mawwadah” which is translated as love, but Mawwadah is actually a special and divine form of love, it is beyond simple adoration and friendship.  It is the love that Allah instils in a marriage in order to handle conflicts that arise in a marriage. This love enables the couple to compromise, reach agreements and look for solutions and Mercy leaves room for apologies, forgiveness and acceptance of dissimilar views and opinions. Does this then mean that we have to sit and do nothing? Of course not, anything good worth having is a result of hard work. Hard work makes you stronger, wiser and happier.

Marriage is fully of challenges that are worth overcoming as long as we continue to work at it. There more we overcome those challenges, there more we will see Tranquility, Love and Mercy in our marriages.

May Allah keep us God-fearing spouses and bless our marriages. Ameen.

Live Simple, Give Much_Gogo Rashieda Kotobe

Bismillah

Tonight (14 August 2013) with sadness and with heavy hearts we bid farewell and laid to rest one of the mothers and grandmothers of the present Ummah (community) of Islam.  I cannot account for the youthful years of our beloved Gogo but I can account for the impact she had on my youth. Meeting her at a young age before my teens was joy, as my own Gogo had just passed away. She was selling snacks and sweets and she gave me some for free.  A sweet Gogo full of smiles and generosity. A busy Gogo who still cooked with the old coal stove, chopped her own wood with an axe and still managed to make tea for you no matter your age. I am talking about a Lady who managed to complete the Hajj (Holy Pilgimage to Mecca)on her own feet. This is a Lady whom her much younger Hajj companions drew strength from and forged on because of her zeal to carefully and devotedly complete this Holy Pilgrimage.  

Live simple, give more are the first words that come to mind when I think of our beloved Gogo Rashieda. She looked after her children and grandchildren with dedication, and extended her complete love to the community.  Living  a simple lifestyle, she managed to welcome my family in her home so many times that it became our meeting point when we are around that area. If I am waiting for my parents I would go to her house and they would do the same if they are waiting for anybody else. Tea, biscuits, sweets and sandwiches are what she would prepare, and when I complain that I can prepare this myself, she would tell me that I am her guest and i should sit down.

I will never forget the day that I had to go for a job interview and she decided to babysit for me, I will not forget her kindness in my time of need and I hope and pray that I am always inspired to do the same for others.

I will miss her saying “Susho?” (really?) when she was surprised at what you were telling her. 

I thank Allah for all the kindness she had in her and May He make her journey in the next world a blessed and easy one. We will miss you dearly Gogo Rashieda.

Bad boys are just that, BAD!

Bad boys are just that, BAD!

Bismillah


Your Mama warns you about bad boys because she’s afraid you will lead a more exciting life than hers; how boring is your good father? Working all day and coming home to read the newspaper, make silly jokes and call you mother the Lady of the house! No ways! That is not your ideal man. Bad boys are exciting, adventurous, fun and full of trills. Bad boys steal kisses, own babes and ask for no permission to touch you, how exciting! Bad boys burp out loud and know how to curse, how flattering! Bad boys have an amatory way of sitting as if their spine is rubbery, they walk like they have been shot nine times and lean again buildings to prevent them from falling, how charming! They drive racy cars, and only choose the best babes to ride in them; they smoke the best cigarettes and nip on the coolest drinks, how sensual! Nevermind your heart, mind and soul! Bad boys are the ultimate fulfillment of your desires!  Let me introduce you to a different male specie, the Good Guys. They say “please” &” thank you”, greet you respectfully with a smile, and call you a lady. They talk gently and worship the ground that you walk on, and not forgetting to give way for you to pass. They take their plates to the sink after eating and burp in private. Their mothers mean the world to them and are not embarrassed to show it. They sit up straight and have a humble walk. But you… have been laughing horribly in their faces and calling them names such as ‘weirdoes’ and ‘mama’s boys’. You have been busy playing pranks on them and break their delicate hearts. You have been mocking their clean and neat clothing, and rolling your eyes when they try to talk to you. So here you are babe! Standing weak and dry like an Autumn leave, broken in may ways and left at the petrol station by that bad boy, and the stillness in you reminds you of that Good Guy who called you a lady and you ignored him. Here is your heart now, whispering a prayer.