Bismillah
Can you imagine what the world would be like if a conquest; colonisation etc was determined by a soccer match? Right now South Africa would have Spanish invaders instead of the Dutch. We would inherit all that which came with the world cup; given that we are already slaves to other exotic cultures we would be proud Black Spanish speakers. Furthermore, Paul the Octopus would in future be one of the symbols of our ancestral animals, or perhaps calamari would be Spanish South Africa’s favoured delicacy. Our blood would be red because it is Spanish. And how I wonder what stories our Coloureds would tell.
The discovery of the Timbuktu scriptures has brought Africa a new light, not complete sunshine but some light, as it was known as the Dark Continent that lacked civilization until all types of white men arrived. Perhaps it is this misconception that Africa lacked civilisation that Africans themselves find it hard to establish their own identity; therefore they assume the identity of their conquerors. The Congolese people are ‘French’ and do not mention the South Africans who did not want their Dutch ‘Master’ only to settle for an English one, so that they could walk about the townships with a twang stuck high up in their nostrils to put their township schooling equals down.
And what about the Xenophobic attacks? Which part of South Africa isn’t part of Africa? The argument is that “I am killing my fellow brother because he came into my country, took my wife and job” ok? I am not inciting a racial civil war here but what about the one, who came into your country, took your live stock, took your land, raped your sister and turned you into a slave in its plantations for his good and is still giving you a shilling for your day’s hard work? Do you not see that you are just fighting your fellow brother over a shilling?
Perhaps it is such incidents that question the African civilisation. It is such incidents that have got this African slave fantasizing about Arabian nights under Palm trees, and Chinese Kimonos. It is this slave that is filled with fantasies of the famous Spanish & Indian Spices because the African soil is too stained with blood to grow any of its own.
Or else time has come to re-write history and for every African to start telling the remarkable and courageous stories of Africa.
Peace.
Just because African civilisation was not documented it does not prove that it didn’t exist. Time to search and re-write history!
Timbuktu here we come!!!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
farewell our dear Friend Ramadhaan, we hope to see you next year again...
Bismillah
As Ramadhaan ends I cannot help but feel a fear of seeing everybody shed the beautiful skin that came with fasting and step back into their old grimy one. Why do people approach Ramadhaan as if it is a just a 30days break from sinning? There are statements such as “Wait till Ramadhaan is over, then I’ll tell you where to @*$%e& get off “or “Hey sexy ladies! I will see you at the club after Ramadhaan” or “I can’t were my tight jeans right now, I’ll put them back after Ramadhaan, plus I would have lost weight by then”. What!?! What does Ramadhaan really mean? Why fast for 30 days from all the vices only to return to them?
From what I have read and been taught is that Ramadhaan is a month/camp of training and rectification. It is a time to examine and take stock of yourself thoroughly, so that you can be a better person in the remaining 11 months. It is a time to ask sincerely for forgiveness and guidance from The Almighty so that you can be purified and all your actions are good actions from this point forth.
So why torture yourself for 30 days? Why purify your heart, tongue, body, thoughts & soul for 30 days just to start sending those perverted e-mails, swearing at your neighbours and other drivers, over eating, gambling, being rude, backbiting and gossiping on the 31st day again?
Does this behaviour make any sense to you?
Brothers and sisters let us take our actions seriously.
I hope this Ramadhaan above everything has brought us all wisdom. The wisdom and strength to achieve what we were striving for in it. I hope we all keep out beautiful skins and shed them only for a better trade.
So how are you planning to approach your days outside Camp Ramadhaan?
As Ramadhaan ends I cannot help but feel a fear of seeing everybody shed the beautiful skin that came with fasting and step back into their old grimy one. Why do people approach Ramadhaan as if it is a just a 30days break from sinning? There are statements such as “Wait till Ramadhaan is over, then I’ll tell you where to @*$%e& get off “or “Hey sexy ladies! I will see you at the club after Ramadhaan” or “I can’t were my tight jeans right now, I’ll put them back after Ramadhaan, plus I would have lost weight by then”. What!?! What does Ramadhaan really mean? Why fast for 30 days from all the vices only to return to them?
From what I have read and been taught is that Ramadhaan is a month/camp of training and rectification. It is a time to examine and take stock of yourself thoroughly, so that you can be a better person in the remaining 11 months. It is a time to ask sincerely for forgiveness and guidance from The Almighty so that you can be purified and all your actions are good actions from this point forth.
So why torture yourself for 30 days? Why purify your heart, tongue, body, thoughts & soul for 30 days just to start sending those perverted e-mails, swearing at your neighbours and other drivers, over eating, gambling, being rude, backbiting and gossiping on the 31st day again?
Does this behaviour make any sense to you?
Brothers and sisters let us take our actions seriously.
I hope this Ramadhaan above everything has brought us all wisdom. The wisdom and strength to achieve what we were striving for in it. I hope we all keep out beautiful skins and shed them only for a better trade.
So how are you planning to approach your days outside Camp Ramadhaan?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Who comes first?
I recently received an e-mail asking “who comes first in your life, if it Allah stop what you are doing immediately and forward this e-mail to twelve people”, I was highly motivated to prove to myself that Allah does come first in my life, and I will forward this e-mail to twelve people, but for now I will have to settle on marking it as unread (I’ll get back to it later) and tackle the mound of work that my ‘colleague’ aka boss is busy raising on my desk.
I have also come across such a question on one of my friend’s Facebook status. ‘Does God come first in your life?’ For some people the answer is instantaneous, a bold YES. Hence again I was tempted and highly motivated to also type a bold YES. As my fingers approached the keyboard I was forced to control that knee-jerk reaction and think, no matter how much we may lie, this was no lie to tell myself or put on Facebook. I really just sat and pondered about the question, looking into my life and daily activities. Other than the allocated prayer time, do my other actions really speak to God?
Every day I wake up pray, then start with the usual, shower, get dressed, prepare the lunchbox, off to work. When I get to work, well I work the pile on my desk, break for prayer & lunch, and get back to work. In this time I have already prayed twice but where does God fit into all this work? Did I even pray when I was praying or was I thinking of the work I have to return to, to complete.
Each passing day we run through this routine like programmed robots, even though we start and end our days with prayer but are our actions in-between God related? Is He really a priority in your life? Let me ask myself... “Sakina, would you resign today from your job to serve God?” “Well, it’s not really ok to just leave work, I need the money for the blender, my savings and of course I do my share towards charity (the I do good justification), ummm come on I really need the money right now, and besides you don’t have to be drastic to be God conscious(more justification),” blah blah blah Sakina!
Well yes, you do not have to travel miles and miles to be God conscious, but we have to examine our daily action on how they relate us to The Almighty so that even when you are working, He is your priority and you are serving Him while offering a service to others, while accumulating wealth, while eating etc.
Just sit and ponder for a while, take time and look into your daily activities and ask yourself “Who comes first?”
PS I will not be forwarding the e-mail until I feel that fully Allah comes first.
Peace.
I have also come across such a question on one of my friend’s Facebook status. ‘Does God come first in your life?’ For some people the answer is instantaneous, a bold YES. Hence again I was tempted and highly motivated to also type a bold YES. As my fingers approached the keyboard I was forced to control that knee-jerk reaction and think, no matter how much we may lie, this was no lie to tell myself or put on Facebook. I really just sat and pondered about the question, looking into my life and daily activities. Other than the allocated prayer time, do my other actions really speak to God?
Every day I wake up pray, then start with the usual, shower, get dressed, prepare the lunchbox, off to work. When I get to work, well I work the pile on my desk, break for prayer & lunch, and get back to work. In this time I have already prayed twice but where does God fit into all this work? Did I even pray when I was praying or was I thinking of the work I have to return to, to complete.
Each passing day we run through this routine like programmed robots, even though we start and end our days with prayer but are our actions in-between God related? Is He really a priority in your life? Let me ask myself... “Sakina, would you resign today from your job to serve God?” “Well, it’s not really ok to just leave work, I need the money for the blender, my savings and of course I do my share towards charity (the I do good justification), ummm come on I really need the money right now, and besides you don’t have to be drastic to be God conscious(more justification),” blah blah blah Sakina!
Well yes, you do not have to travel miles and miles to be God conscious, but we have to examine our daily action on how they relate us to The Almighty so that even when you are working, He is your priority and you are serving Him while offering a service to others, while accumulating wealth, while eating etc.
Just sit and ponder for a while, take time and look into your daily activities and ask yourself “Who comes first?”
PS I will not be forwarding the e-mail until I feel that fully Allah comes first.
Peace.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
What is my soul hungry for?
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
"Oh you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you many learn piety and righteousness" (Qur'an, 2:183)
One of the disciplines I have come across in Tasawuf is to check your intention before, while and after an action. As our bodies get used to the fasting and our hunger pangs are no longer reminders, we tend to carry on with fasting for the month of Ramadhaan forgetting the purpose of the fast. When you are no longer hungry for food, it is time to turn to your soul and ask it “what are you hungry for?” At the beginning of the month of Ramadhaan, each one of us should have a clear goal in mind of what do we want to achieve by the end of the month. Yes, we all want to be in the Heavenly Garden and perhaps more, but there are a great number of steps we have to take to achieve any ultimate goal. As focused as you are on that final destination, you have to put together a list of items that will help you reach your destination safely. According to the verse I opened with, fasting is supposed to teach you piety and righteousness. I will not get into details of the deeper disciplines that come with fasting, but your list of items should be in line with these lessons (Piety & Righteousness). This list can include performing the Dawn Prayer in its best time, being more forgiving, stretching out your hand further to help the poor, increasing your Dhikrullah (remembrance of Allah), you know best what you need to start doing (or not doing). I believe that daily you should ask yourself the following questions:
1. Why and what am I fasting today?
2. What are my goals for Ramadhaan?
3. What am I going to do to increase my good deeds?
4. What evil trait am I going to get rid of today?
5. How am I going to help God’s servants/mankind today?
6. What is my soul hungry for?
May Allah make it easy for us, and help us reap all the rewards that come with this blessed month.
Peace
"Oh you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you many learn piety and righteousness" (Qur'an, 2:183)
One of the disciplines I have come across in Tasawuf is to check your intention before, while and after an action. As our bodies get used to the fasting and our hunger pangs are no longer reminders, we tend to carry on with fasting for the month of Ramadhaan forgetting the purpose of the fast. When you are no longer hungry for food, it is time to turn to your soul and ask it “what are you hungry for?” At the beginning of the month of Ramadhaan, each one of us should have a clear goal in mind of what do we want to achieve by the end of the month. Yes, we all want to be in the Heavenly Garden and perhaps more, but there are a great number of steps we have to take to achieve any ultimate goal. As focused as you are on that final destination, you have to put together a list of items that will help you reach your destination safely. According to the verse I opened with, fasting is supposed to teach you piety and righteousness. I will not get into details of the deeper disciplines that come with fasting, but your list of items should be in line with these lessons (Piety & Righteousness). This list can include performing the Dawn Prayer in its best time, being more forgiving, stretching out your hand further to help the poor, increasing your Dhikrullah (remembrance of Allah), you know best what you need to start doing (or not doing). I believe that daily you should ask yourself the following questions:
1. Why and what am I fasting today?
2. What are my goals for Ramadhaan?
3. What am I going to do to increase my good deeds?
4. What evil trait am I going to get rid of today?
5. How am I going to help God’s servants/mankind today?
6. What is my soul hungry for?
May Allah make it easy for us, and help us reap all the rewards that come with this blessed month.
Peace
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The sounds of Poor Bear are Calling
Bismillah
I thought I could ignore the pregnancy factor for a while and stick to the basics of the monthly check-ups, eating healthy and prayer for a safety pregnancy, birth and life for our child. I have to mention that the moments of excitement and I have not yet crossed paths, somehow it feels surreal to be in this position as if I have been here already ‘what’s new?’ that kind of thing. I have not been browsing in baby isles and fantasising about baby courts and rooms, actually I have always known what I want and when the time comes I will pull out my shopping list. I am not for the universal notion that blue is for boys and pink for girls either, what about all the other colours God created? I also do not do the typical baby/nappy bag; I have actually discovered prettier, versatile, chic and more stylish bags that serve both mommy and baby, along with the miniature compact baby goods that will fit in them. Yes as you have figured out already, I am most of the time the meticulous freak but I am not ignorant to the fickleness of life and a baby.
However today images of my siblings when they were babies flashed by and I remember the feeling of holding their little fingers, how this little being’s hope is all on you to feed it, protect it and teach it. How my brother Ja’far loved paging through the Poor Bear books and told me stories by interpreting the pictures in the book. How Tahera used to turn red when she was angry and how Zaharah just ate and ate and ate. To all mothers to be, I am telling you now! Looking after a baby is much easier than running after it when it starts to crawl, not to mention when it starts to talk! Then you are in trouble.
Having a supportive husband is a bonus in this period when you are just a bag of assorted emotions. The other day he actually found supplements which really treat me better than the ones the doctor prescribed as the best.
My beloved is also precautiously excited but I can see the hope his heart and eyes are filled with, and how he always refers to the baby as if it is already here. I have to sit and watch TV with him because he wants to watch TV with his child, have to keep fit for his child’s sake and the friendly reminders through text messages that I should not feed his child spicy food (I love my Portuguese & Indian spices) or unhealthy food, the greatest reminder being to pray and fast for Allah to give us Hope.
Allah a re fe Katlego le Tshepo.
May Allah give us Hope indeed, Ameen.
30 June 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Ridge Forrester has got nothing on this guy!
Bismillah
How do you define romance? In my past life when I was a teenager and the hormones started kicking in and the fantasy world became more intense. The typical fantasy of romance would be the Hero of my dream world would save me from ‘dangerous danger’ and whisk me to an exotic land filled with paradise birds, chirping in beautiful harmonies, and if I were to tone down the fantasy he would be a working man who brings me flowers and chocolates every day, ever the volunteer to massage my feet and have hidden romantic surprises at every turn.
According to the thesaurus romance is a synonym to a story, fiction, legend, fable etc. So why for eons have popular culture and society imposed on us that if your relationship lacks the typical romance, it is as good as a meal for dogs? Why should a relationship hang on a fable? Is it because people like living in fantasy? Why should we spend time torturing our husbands and sulking because they are just not as fiction as Ridge Forrester? Take a good look at yourself honey, you are not Brooke either!
So how do I define romance? Firstly, it was my Mom’s wisdom of forbidding me from watching soapies that lead me to new classifications of romance, which lead to my thoughts, lifestyle and fantasies being in tune with reality. Secondly, now that I am all grown up, I find myself in a reality where flowers wreak havoc with my sinuses and chocolates everyday would send that man out the door as I wholly assume a double bed was designed for two people and not a double person. Thirdly this ‘romance’ thing has to greatly work with your needs and wants in the relationship. I love the occasional strawberries and cream but I prefer my health and the way my size 34 clothes fit more.
In my marriage romance has revealed itself as the helpful hand from my husband when I need it, be it helping me prepare food or wash the dishes, and the way he emphasis on praying and eating together. The honesty, loyalty and support I get from him without even asking for it. The understanding that today my engine could only take me this far and it needs his turbo boost to go on. Yes I do get the occasional chocolate and ‘romantic’ poems and notes, but don’t go thinking the grass is greener on this side!
Nevertheless I have decided I will let my husband love me the way that he wants to love me, and on the day I decided to do that I realised...
Ridge Forrester has got nothing on this guy!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Confession of a Gambler by Rayda Jacobs
Bismillah
This past weekend on Saturday I finally finished the book my husband was busy competing with for attention, and I must say for such a well written book I am disappointed in the ending but I guess it is the author’s right. The book is based on a woman who gambles to ease or run away from her pain. She is an addict and it takes her long enough after the usual experiences of a gambling addict such as borrowing money and being in a position of plain desperation until she sees that she has got a problem. Yes she goes through tough experiences but what annoyed me while reading the book is that she falls into doing the same sin over and over again and justifies it. We all have our addictions but there should come a time when we redeem ourselves, repent to God and walk away, which is what I thought will happen to the character in the end, she will redeem herself and not gamble again instead of making it out as a naughty act she might visit from time to time. However I must say that Rayda is a great writer, very detailed, very graphic as well. I am looking forward to reading her next book.
Some sins sometimes are great obstacles to overcome. The juiciness of gossip, the relief a lie brings instead of facing the bitter truth and its consequences, the enjoyment of the excitement of adultery and the thrill and power of oppressing someone. But at the end these to lead to nothing but total destruction of the soul and when we justify our sins we are opening a window to make them habitual and a habit becomes who you are. You are no longer someone who gossips, but you become known as THE gossip, THE liar, THE oppressor, THE adulterer. What a bad name to have!
We are human and it is in our nature to sin, but it is also in our nature to resist and train our conscious to help us with the will to resist sin. Another issue that brings us to sin is the lack of life in our own lives. We gossip about others because we have idle minds, and lack fruitfulness in ours. We oppress others as we find lack of control in our own situations.
God did not prevent us from doing certain acts except for our own benefit. If we would focus all this great energy into planting something positive into our lives or even better is to contribute something positive in someone else’s life. We will receive a much greater rewards than the instant satisfaction of a sin. Let us pull each other up; it is a great effort but a greatly rewarding one too.
Peace!
This past weekend on Saturday I finally finished the book my husband was busy competing with for attention, and I must say for such a well written book I am disappointed in the ending but I guess it is the author’s right. The book is based on a woman who gambles to ease or run away from her pain. She is an addict and it takes her long enough after the usual experiences of a gambling addict such as borrowing money and being in a position of plain desperation until she sees that she has got a problem. Yes she goes through tough experiences but what annoyed me while reading the book is that she falls into doing the same sin over and over again and justifies it. We all have our addictions but there should come a time when we redeem ourselves, repent to God and walk away, which is what I thought will happen to the character in the end, she will redeem herself and not gamble again instead of making it out as a naughty act she might visit from time to time. However I must say that Rayda is a great writer, very detailed, very graphic as well. I am looking forward to reading her next book.
Some sins sometimes are great obstacles to overcome. The juiciness of gossip, the relief a lie brings instead of facing the bitter truth and its consequences, the enjoyment of the excitement of adultery and the thrill and power of oppressing someone. But at the end these to lead to nothing but total destruction of the soul and when we justify our sins we are opening a window to make them habitual and a habit becomes who you are. You are no longer someone who gossips, but you become known as THE gossip, THE liar, THE oppressor, THE adulterer. What a bad name to have!
We are human and it is in our nature to sin, but it is also in our nature to resist and train our conscious to help us with the will to resist sin. Another issue that brings us to sin is the lack of life in our own lives. We gossip about others because we have idle minds, and lack fruitfulness in ours. We oppress others as we find lack of control in our own situations.
God did not prevent us from doing certain acts except for our own benefit. If we would focus all this great energy into planting something positive into our lives or even better is to contribute something positive in someone else’s life. We will receive a much greater rewards than the instant satisfaction of a sin. Let us pull each other up; it is a great effort but a greatly rewarding one too.
Peace!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Most heartfelt things in life are inexpensive
Bismillah
Have you ever thought about the powerful feeling of a hug, a kiss and a smile. Whether you are giving or receiving one, think of the joy and warm feeling it brings to your heart. Last night I was feeling down and I was just lying motionless in bed, then my beloved reached under his clothes, pulled out a fizz-pop and extended his hand towards me and said “Bismillah” it is our way of saying ‘go ahead you can have in Allah’s name’. I felt like a 4 year old (as if it is only kids who are supposed to feel such joy and elation), and my mood suddenly changed as I said “Shukran my love”. Such a simple act filled my entire being with delight. Two weeks ago, there were some Sheiks who came to the office for a meeting with my “Colleague” (that is what the boss calls me, “His Colleague”) and they brought me Chocolates! No one could spoil my mood on that day.
So my beloved friend, it takes a small act just to bring happiness into someone’s life, a simple phone call or text message just to say that I am thinking of you. It does not have to be a birthday, anniversary or whatever else we feel is worth celebrating. Life is worth celebrating every day. It should not be death that comes as a shock but each day you find yourself and others alive.
Go Ahead! Go give someone an unexpected hug today, a slab of chocolate, a text message, a phone call and whatever else you can think of, it might all the happiness that person needs for today.
Peace
Have you ever thought about the powerful feeling of a hug, a kiss and a smile. Whether you are giving or receiving one, think of the joy and warm feeling it brings to your heart. Last night I was feeling down and I was just lying motionless in bed, then my beloved reached under his clothes, pulled out a fizz-pop and extended his hand towards me and said “Bismillah” it is our way of saying ‘go ahead you can have in Allah’s name’. I felt like a 4 year old (as if it is only kids who are supposed to feel such joy and elation), and my mood suddenly changed as I said “Shukran my love”. Such a simple act filled my entire being with delight. Two weeks ago, there were some Sheiks who came to the office for a meeting with my “Colleague” (that is what the boss calls me, “His Colleague”) and they brought me Chocolates! No one could spoil my mood on that day.
So my beloved friend, it takes a small act just to bring happiness into someone’s life, a simple phone call or text message just to say that I am thinking of you. It does not have to be a birthday, anniversary or whatever else we feel is worth celebrating. Life is worth celebrating every day. It should not be death that comes as a shock but each day you find yourself and others alive.
Go Ahead! Go give someone an unexpected hug today, a slab of chocolate, a text message, a phone call and whatever else you can think of, it might all the happiness that person needs for today.
Peace
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
LIBERATION
Bismillah
I have mention this to everyone because I feel like I was the only one sitting in front of the TV with a puzzled look on my face. The other day I was watching ‘our’ best friend on TV Oprah Winfrey and she had a show on women who changed the course of history, for example the woman who inspired the Barbie doll. Then it was time to bring out the first woman who posed in a bikini on a magazine cover. I remembered the weighty loud applause that came from the crowd (my TV is not on loud) and how Oprah was saying “We’ve come a long way” with an energy of pride and achievement. As if to saying ‘we are such heroes, we are so damn liberated now that we can be naked and have millions of men drooling over us’.
Over 1400 years ago a man called Muhammad (pbuh) lived in a world where men used to kill their daughters and women were nothing but slaves and objects. He came with a message from God that said “O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outer garments close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle.” (Ahzab: 59) and another that said “And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful.” (Nur: 31)
It is through this message that true liberation for women came. When a woman dresses in a respectful manner, she attracts men who have respect for her, who care more about her opinions and thoughts than the curves of her body or the size of her cleavage.
It is in human nature to want to attract the opposite sex, but we should carefully examine our reason and intention. If you marry for beauty it fades, money disappears too but good character is everlasting and good character is found in the women who respect themselves and their bodies.
This is not just a message to a fellow Muslimah but to all women. Please do not short-change yourself, a man who wants to experience your sexual treasures before your personality ones is not worth it.
And if liberation means to be naked in front of the world then I’d rather stay in this “oppressive” state for somehow I feel liberated in it.
Peace
I have mention this to everyone because I feel like I was the only one sitting in front of the TV with a puzzled look on my face. The other day I was watching ‘our’ best friend on TV Oprah Winfrey and she had a show on women who changed the course of history, for example the woman who inspired the Barbie doll. Then it was time to bring out the first woman who posed in a bikini on a magazine cover. I remembered the weighty loud applause that came from the crowd (my TV is not on loud) and how Oprah was saying “We’ve come a long way” with an energy of pride and achievement. As if to saying ‘we are such heroes, we are so damn liberated now that we can be naked and have millions of men drooling over us’.
Over 1400 years ago a man called Muhammad (pbuh) lived in a world where men used to kill their daughters and women were nothing but slaves and objects. He came with a message from God that said “O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outer garments close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle.” (Ahzab: 59) and another that said “And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful.” (Nur: 31)
It is through this message that true liberation for women came. When a woman dresses in a respectful manner, she attracts men who have respect for her, who care more about her opinions and thoughts than the curves of her body or the size of her cleavage.
It is in human nature to want to attract the opposite sex, but we should carefully examine our reason and intention. If you marry for beauty it fades, money disappears too but good character is everlasting and good character is found in the women who respect themselves and their bodies.
This is not just a message to a fellow Muslimah but to all women. Please do not short-change yourself, a man who wants to experience your sexual treasures before your personality ones is not worth it.
And if liberation means to be naked in front of the world then I’d rather stay in this “oppressive” state for somehow I feel liberated in it.
Peace
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tips on Keeping Your Marriage Lively
1. Always remember the reason you got married. (if this was a wrong reason, renew your marriage with a better reason)
2. Respect each other; respect each other’s views and opinions even if you do not agree with them – just respect them.
3. Tackle problems with prayer and good intention.
4. The letter “I” really isn’t there in “we” or “us” or “our”.
5. Leave dangerous thoughts in a faraway garbage bin before you enter your home, and don’t go searching for them when you leave the house either. (Dangerous thoughts being cheating, negative thoughts about your spouse, if only my wife/husband could be like her/him..., stress etc)
6. Never forget the words – I love you, thank you, please, I am sorry, and what I can do to make it better.
7. Always be a helpful hand rather than a criticising one.
8. Listen with love than just your ears, sometimes the heart hears well.
9. Always show interest in your spouse’s activities. (NO, this does not include spying O.O)
10. Always keep things fresh, surprising and sparkling in the bedroom.
11. Make your home a paradise of love, peace, consideration and mercy.
12. Keep your heart a place of safety for secrets, your body a place of beauty, your hands a place of warmth and your mouth a place of kind words.
BE THE SPOUSE THAT YOU WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE.
Marriage is a priviladge
Bismillah
As i start closing down some windows and wrapping up some work, i think of something a read on facebook and wrote it on my diary "I've found silence is best enjoyed with a beating heart next to you" and it made me remember that about a week ago i told my beloved husband how lying on his chest was one of the most peaceful places for me. In the same breath i am also thinking of my cousin who recently lost her husband just after she had a miscarriage., and how difficult she is having it right now. It is Allah's decree.
How often do we appreciate our spouses? do we wait for them to be called by Allah so that we start writing poems of how we wish we didn't utter those last hurtful words. How we turned insignificant issues into problems when we could have just said "my love, when you... i was hurt but i forgive you".
As i go home, thank you Allah for giving me the opportunity to share my life with a man called a husband, i realise that it is a priviladge and i pray that you help me be the best wife i can be.
Fill my heart with contentment, happiness, forgiveness and love because all these are characteristics of a Believing Muslim Woman.
As i start closing down some windows and wrapping up some work, i think of something a read on facebook and wrote it on my diary "I've found silence is best enjoyed with a beating heart next to you" and it made me remember that about a week ago i told my beloved husband how lying on his chest was one of the most peaceful places for me. In the same breath i am also thinking of my cousin who recently lost her husband just after she had a miscarriage., and how difficult she is having it right now. It is Allah's decree.
How often do we appreciate our spouses? do we wait for them to be called by Allah so that we start writing poems of how we wish we didn't utter those last hurtful words. How we turned insignificant issues into problems when we could have just said "my love, when you... i was hurt but i forgive you".
As i go home, thank you Allah for giving me the opportunity to share my life with a man called a husband, i realise that it is a priviladge and i pray that you help me be the best wife i can be.
Fill my heart with contentment, happiness, forgiveness and love because all these are characteristics of a Believing Muslim Woman.
In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds:
The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful:
Owner of the Day of Judgement.
Thee (alone) we worship;
Thee (alone) was ask for help.
Show us the straight path:The path of those whom Thou hast favoured;
Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.
Greetings of Peace to all,
With much coercion from a dear sister-friend I decided to create and sustain this blog. I must say this is not my first blog but I pray for this one to be much livelier than the last, full of insight and inspiration from my random thoughts to my constructive pass times. Well, a blog is there to share whatever, but I am not in favour of idle talk and unnecessary information such as knowing what is in Jeniffer Lopez’s garbage. So I promise to fill this blog with helpful thoughts and tips which in the end will help you and I be progressive in life. Although, you might witness the occasional thought of spotting me in jail, serving a life sentence for murdering my boss with a nail-file. However I began this blog with a prayer, which I so hope will help me from making such disturbing dangerous thoughts a reality.
Till later
Peace.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds:
The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful:
Owner of the Day of Judgement.
Thee (alone) we worship;
Thee (alone) was ask for help.
Show us the straight path:The path of those whom Thou hast favoured;
Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.
Greetings of Peace to all,
With much coercion from a dear sister-friend I decided to create and sustain this blog. I must say this is not my first blog but I pray for this one to be much livelier than the last, full of insight and inspiration from my random thoughts to my constructive pass times. Well, a blog is there to share whatever, but I am not in favour of idle talk and unnecessary information such as knowing what is in Jeniffer Lopez’s garbage. So I promise to fill this blog with helpful thoughts and tips which in the end will help you and I be progressive in life. Although, you might witness the occasional thought of spotting me in jail, serving a life sentence for murdering my boss with a nail-file. However I began this blog with a prayer, which I so hope will help me from making such disturbing dangerous thoughts a reality.
Till later
Peace.
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